Letting Your Freak Flag Fly

I work with students aged 18-22 with special needs, like autism, learning disabilities, and emotional disabilities. We have some brilliant kids who can't remember to eat and we have some super slow learners who can't add fractions. But here we accept each other, the students are so supportive of each other, it's really sweet to see. Because the kids don't judge me, I've been more open about my spirituality than ever before. I even have another Christian student that I can agree about some things with. Although we don't go too deep since our relationship is a professional one. I just don't feel judged here. I am a Christian, a Freak in the world, I do not fit in here.

Evangelism is the hardest thing for me. I'm alright telling people who are close to me what I believe when the conversation naturally comes up. I don't tell random people the intricacies of what I believe. When I do find out that someone is emphatically not a christian my heart aches. And then I feel guilty, because who am I to tell them (or simply think it) that they need to change. But I ache more because I know the freedom and love that they are missing and it hurts my heart.

Dating Disaster

I am a dating disaster. I am a failure. I get attached too easily. I keep dating non-christians and it really doesn't work. I just stopped seeing a guy tonight, who wasn't a christian and he shook my hand goodbye, it was so cold. I wanted to scream, damn it why couldn't you have been a christian. Why? It's not fair. I actually really like you. In some way I should be happy that I saved us both alot of pain. Why do I feel like crap? I'm unable to just date casually without getting attached. I'm just incapable. I suck.